A couple of weeks ago, Helen proudly introduced Nadine to someone new. His first response was: “so this is your man?” We were really surprised and looked at each other bewildered. Did this guy need new glasses? Did he completely loose his mind? We both cried out: no! The gentleman continued the conversation with: “well, how can I know? I don’t know if you guys are married or not?” Hmm.. he completely missed the clue: it ran away from him, called a taxi, drove to the end of the world, stepped in a rocket and flew off to a new solar system, multiple lightyears away.
The conversation initiated a thought process. Is there a “man” to define in our lesbian relationship? Which prejudices still exist and did they enter our relationship unnoticed? Time to check all clichés and accept the challenge: Who’s the “man” in our relationship?
Every once in a while, Nadine shaves all the hair off her skull. To donate her lovely curls to a non-profit organization that is and to support someone who’s less fortunate. Helen loves Nadine’s curls and has used her veto to prevent the use of the hair clipper; she has been unsuccessful so far. On the topic of short haircuts, the shaven head of Nadine definitely wins the first point in this competition.
A tough looking blouse or a man fitted shirt. Nadine’s interest in clothes, is based on whether she likes the garment regardless whether she shops in the man or woman department. When she likes something, she will wear it. If it’s a men shirt it will be extra comfortable right? A point for Nadine for all the days she decides to wear whatever she wants regardless the opinion of others.
This does not mean though, that Helen’s outfits are more feminine. Nadine really rocks a nice dress combined with high heels. Chapeau!
Nadine prefers water related sports: surfing, kite surfing etc. Pretty tough, but the point in this area goes to Helen. With her history in obstacle runs, trail challenges and climbing, she takes her first point. Good, for now there is an actual competition taking place, we like it!
Putting her arm around her
Oehhh, Helen takes her second point here: she is usually the one who puts her arm around Nadine. This could be explained due to the fact that Helen is taller than Nadine. It’s more comfortable that way. Nine out of ten times Helen’s arm ends up around Nadine and not the other way around, and we’re both really okay with that!
We both work fulltime jobs, and are surrounded by men. We’re both pretty tough when we are working: no wimps there. Nadine has a technical profession and her employer already rings the toughness bell. Helen firmly stands her ground in the office. Still, the point her goes to Nadine. Her navy uniforms make the difference here.
Once we get home, it’s Nadine who enters the kitchen to put some nice food on the table. Helen considers it her mission, to enjoy all this food and finish her plate. Awesome antidote for an empty stomach, but not for earning points in this “who’s the man” challenge. One point for Helen. It’s 3-3 now and the tension rises!
Taking out the trash
Is it possible that if Nadine does the cooking, Helen is the one taking out the trash? OMG, did this cliché enter their relationship? We’re afraid the answer is yes. With this Helen does earn another point in the challenge.
Cleaning up is a fun item, well, I guess we should rephrase it to not cleaning up. Nadine has a talent for that last part. There are so many things more interesting than cleaning up, so why would she waste her time tidying up the place? A clear point earned by Nadine.
Who’s the one eating the most chocolate? Who’s the one who loves to spend roughly one evening per month laying on the sofa, watching Netflix.. while eating an entire bar of chocolate? Who thinks the world must be doomed once every month, to realize the next day that life is not so bad after all (but it sure did look like that yesterday)? The correct answer is Helen! She suffers most from PMS and therefore another point goes to Nadine.
The best way to decide “who’s the man”, has to be by checking who picks up the hammer and nails. Who can turn a random piece of wood into a table or sofa (or even better: a sauna!)? If you’ve read our prior posts, you already know who feels right at home at the home depot. Helen earns the final point in this competition.
When we add the earned points up, the total amounts to a tie. 5-5 is the final result in this “who’s the man” challenge. Apparently, there’s no man in our lesbian relationship. Somehow, we’re not really surprised, for the entire concept of having a “man” in your lesbian relationship is stupid/an illusion/misguiding. It’s a way to try to push something that doesn’t fit the standard concept, in the standard concepts anyways. We all should have learned by now that doesn’t work!
Helen and Nadine